godofthemachine | Duplicity IC Inbox

[ She closes the door behind him and sinks back into the couch, leaving space for him to join her. ]

It may sound a little crazy, but no crazier than the rest of this place, I guess. Earlier that day, I was shot by one of the Veracity guards. I should have died, but my Submissive ... he's a vampire. When I drank his blood, it healed me, but it kind of made me high too.

[ It would be so easy for her to say that it had made her act differently, that she wasn't herself, but now that this part of her has come to the surface she finds she can't bring herself to deny it. ]

It lowered my inhibitions, I guess. Let me find the part of me that ... well, you saw it.

[AM offers a tense smile when she says "it's no crazier than the rest of this place", because boy does he know that. A vampire healing her with magic blood? Sure, just another day in this backwards world.

He feels himself tense, though, when she mentions her sub is a vampire. Not another one... They seem to be breeding like rabbits.]

Oh my...

[But he also hears "magic healing powers", something that would be incredibly useful.]

I didn't realize the vampires could transfer their abilities without, ah, turning you into one.

[Still, she doesn't deny that what happened was a part of her. Doesn't say that it was out of her control. He approaches the topic carefully:]

So... Is that something you would have done otherwise?

Neither did I, right up until he did it.

[ And it's a great reassurance to her to know that she has that sort of healing power at her disposal, even if it pains her to think of Godric as a resource.

She hesitates a little at his question, not really knowing the answer. She'd killed before, of course, but she hadn't sought out the sort of gratuitous violence that they'd shared. But even when she thinks back on it now, it's not with the guilt and horror that she knows should be there, but a dark thrill tinged with arousal at the thought of the power she'd wielded. ]

I think I would have still needed something to give me that push. That door was always open for me, but I was scared of stepping through. But... it feels good to be on the other side.

[It's another thing to envy the vampires for. AM has found them to be overly powerful here, seemingly able to fight off whatever can be thrown at them - except, perhaps, for UV light. But even then, they can heal from it, or so he assumes.

Still, he listens to Abigail, watches her hesitate, as if she's still teetering on the brink. She needs more pushing. AM gives almost a sad smile at her admission.]

Does it?

Tell me, my dear... Why does it feel good?

[ The answer to that is very complex, so Abigail chooses a version that means she doesn't have to explain too much of her past for the time being. ]

I've made it my mission here to know myself, what I'm capable of. There's always been that darkness in me, but I've only really used it to survive before.

[For as much as Abigail may trust AM with certain aspects of herself, he still knows very little about her past. If he had to guess, he would say that she likely has killed in self defense, and was disturbed by how good it felt.

Survival - that has been a common theme with her, so AM nods.]

It feels good to survive. After all, if you didn't survive... [He leans back into the couch, lacing his fingers together.] ...You would feel nothing at all.

That man... [She knows which one he refers to. The one the skinned alive.] ...He didn't want us to survive.

[ Abigail considers this, knowing he's right but also sure that this had gone far beyond survival when they'd begun to torture him instead of just killing him outright. ]

I didn't want him to survive, either.

[He considers his words - "feeling", "not feeling". Death. Survival. For one who couldn't feel but was desperate to survive, it's strange to think of it in such a way.]

He didn't deserve to survive.

[He pauses, remembering what she told him about that vampire.]

...Especially after that other one had shot you. He wanted you dead, after all.

[ She nods agreement, frowning a little but knowing he's right. ]

Revenge would have been shooting him in return. This was much more than that. But I wouldn't take it back, it was ... thrilling.

[So she says she wouldn't take it back. A smile slowly creeps back to AM's face at that point, showing his approval for her feeling. In the back of his mind, he knows that cultivating this sort of idea in her could have him end up on the wrong side of the knife, so he has to be kind to her. He has to be careful.

But so far, he doesn't think he's done a bad job. Their difference in age (at least, judging by their appearances, AM's actual 300+ year age notwithstanding) might suggest father and daughter, and in a sense AM wants to mentor her.]

It was, wasn't it?

It seems to have worked, too. I have not seen or heard a thing about Veracity ever since that day.

[ Abigail meets his smile, though her own is smaller, almost shy in a way, unused to embracing this part of herself and both nervous and excited to meet it. ]

Good riddance, as far as I'm concerned. It's enough to have to deal with Duplicity without being caught in the crossfire of their feud with Veracity.

[ Although it did mean that it would be more difficult to find a convenient target, if they were to do something like this again. ]

You've done that kind of thing before, haven't you?

[It was difficult to help Duplicity in dealing with Veracity, but then again, AM's whole programming was warfare, even if he hated all sides involved. Still, he has a feeling Veracity may not be gone just yet. And even if they are? Well, Duplicity could become just as bad, if not worse. Time will tell.

But he's caught slightly off guard when Abigail asks him about his history of such a thing. He pauses, considering how to answer, because saying "no" wouldn't actually be a lie... But at the same time, it would. His smile fades slightly, but not enough.]

In a sense, I have. But... I hadn't done anything like that in Duplicity.

[Then again, he had violently raped more than one person in Patara and in the "hunt" at Fort Harmony, and had burned Jonathan to ashes over and over... But that still wasn't the same thing.

Still, the implication is there: the Veracity guards were a convenient target.]

[ She frowns thoughtfully, knowing that practically there was no way this could ever have been a regular occurrence, but still slightly disappointed all the same. ]

Then I guess, in a way, it's sad that Veracity are gone.

[She says exactly what he is thinking, the unspoken commonality. When everyone has a common enemy, it's easier to combat them without penalty.

He doesn't answer at first, afraid of who might be listening, of who might be baiting a trap. He mulls it over for a moment, leaning on his elbows as his fingers lace together in front of his mouth.]

I think... There certainly are other dangers lurking in the shadows. It's only a matter of time before they make themselves known.

[ Her eyes flicker up to him, almost hopefully. ]

Then we just have to bide our time, right?

[His eyes too light up when he catches her glance. Hope. It's the same kind of lust he has for hurting others, the same sort of glee when he realizes he can hurt another without consequence.]

Exactly. Humanity has no shortage of unsavory characters, after all.

[ Abigail lets out a short, slightly bitter laugh at that remark, knowing that after what she'd done she was definitely among the unsavory characters. ]

I guess that means I've got a lot of company.

[Yes, to AM, Abigail is one of the "unsavory" characters... But at the very least, AM thinks every human is like that.]

You're different. You don't dress it up with poor excuses.

[And he's being honest. Those who think they are righteous and moral with their actions are what infuriate AM the most.]

[ She smiles, a little softer and more genuine than the ones she usually offers. She isn't exactly sure what AM is, but she knows that he's definitely an outside observer on humanity, and in a way that makes her value his opinion of her even more. ]

I don't see the point in poor excuses. There's nothing for me to go back to in my own world, so if this place is all I have then I want to be able to really own my life here.

[ She hesitates, afraid of rejection, before asking. ]

You'll help me do that, won't you?

["Nothing to go back to". It's similar to AM's own world in a way, though whereas Abigail may want to progress, AM's own mindset will never change. His goals are the same here as they were in his home.

While Abigail might be letting herself harden, in a way she's exposing herself, showing her more vulnerable attributes to AM. It's dangerous, and AM is absolutely delighted. The smile he offers in return is indeed genuine - somewhat soft, but with a spark in his eyes.]

Of course I will.

This place could indeed be a blessing for us rather than a prison, if we let it.

[ Abigail looks relieved, as though he's taken a burden from her in a way. She knows it's dangerous to trust him, but she's also certain that he can help unlock this side of her. ]

I quite agree. And I have to admit, I'm excited to find out what sort of blessings we can take from it.

[This place is a blessing for AM, being able to feel all he never could. But everything comes at a price.

But regarding their original conversation, AM's purpose for visiting, he feels relieved to a degree. No, he can't trust Abigail completely, as humans are not trustworthy, but he feels that he's not walking into a trap. She won't betray his secret, because she'll be dragged down with him.]

As am I. [He grins and stands up.] Anyway, I must be going, but I do appreciate you telling me all of this.

Duplicity IC Inbox

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CW: rape & torture mention

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